She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize