I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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