All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
