Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
