Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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