Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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