Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
