I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
