mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Someone shit on the floor
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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