What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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