he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
