nut hugger
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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