You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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