i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
