its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
