Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
