i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
