need another drink. this is the easiest way
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
