do herpes really smell.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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