Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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