you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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