PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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