it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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