Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
