Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
