and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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