make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
