a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
