Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
