...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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