I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that's an acceptable place to lick
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
