Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it hurts more in the daytime
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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