No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
