We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
