please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We don't watch enough power rangers
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
