His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
