Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
