he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
foreskin is a definite game changer
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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