nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm at about main and main street
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
