I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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