It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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