Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
