one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
