So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
