She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
