Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
