the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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