The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have fence marks all over my body
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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