i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
