You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
