I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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