I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
